In Too Deep: Size Matters

So. Its been forevs since an 'In To Deep' has graced your expensive wanky Macbook screens. So I decided to go out on an abstract limb and produce one about size. Size isnt a place or a thing or a size.. its an attitude, and as you will learn it comes in many forms. The scale i'm using to judge these size related hilarities is "inches". As i see it fits. And I like making cock references. The more inches it gets the more it deserves to be on this site as a size related thing.

Exhibit A: Novelty Over Size iPhone.



Yes. A rare breed indeed. These macro iPhones were developed by the corrupt Chinese government to attract babes through tourism, then to rip them off when they pay 20c for a photo and then learn it is infact not a real iPhone. I was pretty excited it was 20 degrees in Tokyo when I saw this bad boy hangin' out at the mall. He kindly let me take a photo with him (must be a hard life as a celebradyke [especially one with celebraAIDS]).

Inches : 6"


Exhibit B: Paris Hugeton.



If you haven't heard already you're probs a lesbian or live in a third world country that doesnt even have novelty over sized iPhones yet (pssh lames). PH her-hot-self has coined a new phrase. Coined here means took an exsisting word, made it sassy-sexy-cool and now all of teen-hollywood jiz all over it. Its 'Huge'. As in "Huge" is the new "Hot". So now all you have to do is call people huge and your an instant babe. One word of advice though, steer clear of refering to your token fat friend in such a manner. Shes vulerable right now.. as I raped her.

Inches: 17 1/2"

Exhibit C: Refer to Exhibit D

Exhibit D: Micro Dolphin Breeding.


Yums. Have you ever wanted to take a dolphin, make it mini, dep fry it and brand it as a packet of chips?! OMG right, me too. So now its reals. I have decided to forget about modeling and go for my dream of becoming a Micro-Doplh breeder! In stores soons.

Inches: Babe"

Spotted: Eat, Sleep, Shit?

AHHH! Hey there pathetic bored losers, its been ages that I've posted as unlike you I have an awesome life filled with joyus things that keep me busy. Like my new boyfriend (my iPhone that is) Anyways, It happened a while ago now but when I saw it, it was fresh. Its Janice Dickinson making an absolute ass of herself on Finland's Next Top Model. Now as we all watch FNTM religiously I'm sure you've seen it.

But for those weirdos that don't have any taste in TV progamming, here it is to check out.

I love how she refers to modelling as a thing you have to eat, sleep and shit. Well duh. I mean its just like that time I got AIDs and I literally eat, slept and shat it. Infact I eat, sleep and shit many things.. like the product of that cup left over from those 2 Brazilian girls in that viral video.

I also love how she abuses the girls who are clearly hotter than she ever was. Gimme a Fin over J-Dick anyday. The chick who has the messy room.. big babe. But I guess they did get the real scoop on the modelling industry.. its fucked.

Now in another video, that I cant seem to find (i deplore you) she falls down the stairs, abuses the girls some more calling them "dumb model bitches" and then explains what happened the next day. And of course its just that she mixed up her "vitamin C tablet" with a "headache pill" and then may have had a few "sips" of "champagne". Thats its cunts, if "off".

Fash Train: Stop 1.

A new segment aoooooo!!!!!!
Fash train highlights our most treasured moments of our public transport week. What's hot and what's not.

Day 1. Saturday. TramPARTY.

'Twas an average Saturday night. Everyone was out, slutted up and ready to get wasted. But the peeps at New Workers Club that night had a dirty secret! They were congregating for a special locomotive event planned for the West Preston 112 tram at approx 11pm. It was Take Away show meets Flash Mob but better than both put together. As it went down everything that we hoped would happen did. The Pecocks played at the special event, a guy somehow managed to crowdsurf on a packed moving tram, someone smoking some green, and so many people jumping that the tram was bouncing off the tracks. We made it 2 stops before the lights went out and the tram driver asked 'everyone get off the tram now'. Basically we pissed of and bemused alot of innocent passengers and it was worth it!


Here is the band singing their litte hearts. Not that we could hear shit from where we were.


The beautiful and crammed people.


Innocent tram travellers. The babe to the right must have just put her shirt back on She was going wild seconds before that.


So then after being kicked off the tram these kuntz started dancing with the zebra busker who takes song requests.



Day 2. Monday. Staring down science fiction novels.


Some kunt trying to conjure some anal rapist elf out of his World of Warcraft cheat book. Actually is he one of the guys in my 3D Modelling class that was talking about swords. FYI 'if a sword has a design on the blade it is no considered a weapon but it still needs to be behind glass'- Freak from class.



Day 3. Wednesday. Train arrest at Glenferrie.

'I apologize we will have to stay at Hawthorn station for a few minutes, a passenger on a train at Glenferrie is ill and requires assistance'-Train Driver.
Yeah sure Mr. Train driver you make Megan from OzGirl look like a convincing actor. We couldn't figure out why this would hold us up at Hawthorn for so long. Sam concluded that it was an excuse for someone committing suey infront of the train ahead and that was why. 10 minutes go by, still no movement and I ask loudly to a silent train, 'Seriously how long does it take to scrap blood and guts off train tracks?' Lolz.
But wait now we have police in bullet proof vest searching the train. -'Um should be panic?'-Whitney -'Fuck it let's grab that other train'.-Professor Sam.

Professor Oak trying to piece everything together.


I'm pretty sure that they ended up arresting this babe.



Soz it's been a while. 'I'm gonna kill the sun!!!!"
xo