Recently I visited Sydney as an adult for the first time and well....it was shit. All dems them got is a pointy singin' building, a bridge that costs a shit load to paint and cheap prostitutes at your disposal throughout Kings Cross. And I've never seen so many white people in my life. Sydney is full of those cuntz. Melbourne on the other hand loves/ruvs everybody and we aint afraid to show it. Let's see what our vastly multicultural citizenry thinks about Melbourne.
Melbourne from the Asian perspective.
Melbourne is a shopping paradise....well Footscray is. And Dim Sims now include extrinsic flavours...I thought it was pretty straightforward cat's testicals you can get that from Mr. So Wong at your local market. I wish that sequence went longer. I may or may not have gotten a soy wettie.
The West Gate Bridge is now referred to as 'the belly of the serpentine beast'. But don't worry its cool cause its rather secure. Except when yo crazy daddy is throwing you off. I wonder if there's a re-enactment musical on the bus tour? And Yeah sista watch out Q'Land Melbourne gots some big thangs too. Mostly vacuumm cleaners though. My favourite thing about Melbourne is the disco sector.
Melbourne from the 'i'm tucking into a bit of dead roo' bushranger perspective.
Firstly I needs to say..... I wrote that theme song. Actually I learnt something too....after Israel, Melbourne is the most multicultural country in the world, made up of over 120 ethic groups...we must be well over due for some mass genocide. Come one Australia the world already thinks we're lazy...hop to it. We have clearly finished cleaning up all the roo, crocodile and possum we got...move on to bigger and better things. Let's kill some baybz now.
Not only does music waft out of pubs and clubs the smell of vomit does too ie. At Star Bar, Sundays biggest night. And was that another serpentine reference regarding Melbourne? Wendy your a slut we all know what you love Botanical gardens, because it's perfectly secluded so that you can use Rohypnol(or 'roofies'....thats what all the cool babes call it) on unsuspecting wildlife and digitally rape them.
Melbourne from the Ramsay St perspective.
Who else other than Holly Valance to do Melbourne justice. She is a true Australian treasure and has the experience to back it up. She is the most baybin and qualified hoe to show us what our city has to offer following the years she spent in the gutter out the front of the 'Epsy' in St.Kilda. I almost went bankrupt paying her for wristies. I just knew even then that the gurl had talents. Down boy got to keep it down boy. Okay?
Ps. Prof Sam Oak seriously fuck you and clean up my fucking vomitt like a good wifie.
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