In Too Deep: into Gaga's gaping gash!

Gaga shake yo tit and show us yo clit! Godamn gurl........after watching the video clip/short film for 'Telephone' I wish that I had of created a video reaction like everyone did for 'Two Girls One Cup'. My fuckin' pussy needs a serviette after watching that! Alright I'm just dying to discuss my favourite moments because that was the best 9 minutes and 32 seconds of my life right there....even better than the time I saw Tila Tequila's nip nips.


Exhibit gAy: When we all saw Lady's Ga Gunt. Self explanatory.




Exhibit Beyonce: Watching Honey Bee feed that dirty Gatalian whore. I love watching feeders at work.




Exhibit Ceebs: Some serious headgear. The statement 'All you need is smokes and phone' has been taken to the next level. Pretty sure she got hardcore fingerbanged in that scene by the babe butch dyke. Tegan and Sara better watch out or GaGa is going to steal all their fan fans.




Exhibit Deez: More product placement than you can poke your hermie dick at. The best product placement was defs selling homosexuality. If there are any straight gurls left in the world after viewing this i'll be very surprised. Shit that babe on the right looks alot like my auntie.....bitch never bothered to tell me about this gig.




Exhibit Jaizzzzzz: Relief knowing that Jai from 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' hasn't died from AIDS yet.




I really wish that the batteries in my vibe didn't just die. Guess i'll just have to remember how to drive manual again. Sha-moan?

Linkz:
http://mashable.com/2010/03/11/lady-gaga-telephone-video/

Melbourne Is: Half-Assing.

Hay! Melbourne has always been renounced as the city of tranzport. I mean we gots trams, Adelaide only got 1! Pssh. And of course we're all in immense joy over the newest, kewlest, most high tech, AZN technology money could buy.. or kinda buy and then have not work properly. Myki! Mykee is the new credit card style ticketing system that Melbs is investing in. More like My-not-ki. hoi hoi hoi. Anyway this is my first example of Melbourne being filled with half assed shit. Oh and the uniforms those Myki help people wear are simply disgrosting! Fluro pee-green and blue aint a good match.



My next example is this. If you know what this is and your a Melbournian you're already vomming out your gunt. I know I am. Another try-hard super-future-azn-city-or-just-London idea was a big ol' wheel. These babes were gonna build this big white thing, which they did and it operated for like 2 weeks before the dodge parts from Korea (im sorry guys your musics is amazing but not so much engineering) or was is Japan? either way, it failed epically. H-core. Ka-put!

So seriously guys.. get some motivation, or money or something! Im tired of not having useless peices of infrastructure already! Gimme the key and the wheel and some kind of medal for speeding up the process. screw that, I'm a hero!

Night Y'all.

Fash Train: Stop 2.

I think i've finally found a fashion trend that Fash Hayley hasn't discovered yet. It's the re-emergence for the mighty bowl cut.......all the cool babez are doin' it.

It's so in. It's so now. It's so the future!



But then I realised it's also our past. How could I have been so naive? The bowl has been the preferred style for most elite celebrities at some point in their career. I highly doubt that success can be achieved without a good bowl.



Sometime even a braided bowl cut works.




Or the gay bowl.




And this is where it all began, on the 96 tram. Because we all know that the peepz that ride this line have the money to look good. Shaaaawty!



Welcome home sluts.
xo

Spotted: Next Big Thing.

Shit these guys are hot. CCR are an up and cumming pop/rap duo who intend on going all the way, consensual or not. Consisting of Melbourne based hotties T4M (pronounced Tam) and L4 FuNdwa (Pronouced La Fon-dwa). But it hasnt been smooth sailing already says the duo who are set to tour mid this year for the first time. I investigated.

The two were 45 minutes late to the interview we had set up, showing their true 'too-cool' personas, and possibly herpes. They seems slightly intoxicated too. Who can blame them, after a shamefull split between former members T1m (Tim) and CH4rliz3 (Shar-leese). The two former members were said to have been abusing drugs, stealing moneys from the CCR account, and having sexual relations with T4ms mother and father. The news spread fast in the underground pop/rap (and crunkcore) communities as people favourite new band (of She Gay fame).

After the split, this one-hit-wonder group are out to change their image, with a string of newer fresher sounds without the help of their ex-comrades. But will they succeed? With 2 new tracks already released I'm Easy and We (L) Boylimia we can only expect more of this deliciously lame music in our ears.

You can check out CCR's new stuff at their myspace ..
myspace.com/campcamprevolution

Jingle Jingle.

Thats right kuntz. Its that time of year, and just a quick little shout out from your fave CelebraBloggers Prof Sam Oak and Whitney Port. We're both off for a bit, Whitneys going to the Maldives before it completely drowns (who cares right?) for some tanning and maybz some cheap hookers and I'm off to Iran to teach under privileged children how to blog.

Oh heres a little pressie from us..



Seish.

Missing b4ybz.

Some sick cuntz stole my baby(fathered by my black up dancer, baby daddy K-Fed) and my sweet ride from Carlton yesterday so if any youse see either of these items please send express post to 123 Swanston St Melbourne VIC 3000 (which coincidently is the address of fashion haus Deborah K). If not I buy dems again off ebay for a reasonable price. I can't be arsed making a missing persons poster. That's gay and people collect them so no one ends up finding your shit anyway in the end.

Melbourne is: Guided Tours.

Recently I visited Sydney as an adult for the first time and well....it was shit. All dems them got is a pointy singin' building, a bridge that costs a shit load to paint and cheap prostitutes at your disposal throughout Kings Cross. And I've never seen so many white people in my life. Sydney is full of those cuntz. Melbourne on the other hand loves/ruvs everybody and we aint afraid to show it. Let's see what our vastly multicultural citizenry thinks about Melbourne.

Melbourne from the Asian perspective.



Melbourne is a shopping paradise....well Footscray is. And Dim Sims now include extrinsic flavours...I thought it was pretty straightforward cat's testicals you can get that from Mr. So Wong at your local market. I wish that sequence went longer. I may or may not have gotten a soy wettie.

The West Gate Bridge is now referred to as 'the belly of the serpentine beast'. But don't worry its cool cause its rather secure. Except when yo crazy daddy is throwing you off. I wonder if there's a re-enactment musical on the bus tour? And Yeah sista watch out Q'Land Melbourne gots some big thangs too. Mostly vacuumm cleaners though. My favourite thing about Melbourne is the disco sector.


Melbourne from the 'i'm tucking into a bit of dead roo' bushranger perspective.



Firstly I needs to say..... I wrote that theme song. Actually I learnt something too....after Israel, Melbourne is the most multicultural country in the world, made up of over 120 ethic groups...we must be well over due for some mass genocide. Come one Australia the world already thinks we're lazy...hop to it. We have clearly finished cleaning up all the roo, crocodile and possum we got...move on to bigger and better things. Let's kill some baybz now.

Not only does music waft out of pubs and clubs the smell of vomit does too ie. At Star Bar, Sundays biggest night. And was that another serpentine reference regarding Melbourne? Wendy your a slut we all know what you love Botanical gardens, because it's perfectly secluded so that you can use Rohypnol(or 'roofies'....thats what all the cool babes call it) on unsuspecting wildlife and digitally rape them.


Melbourne from the Ramsay St perspective.



Who else other than Holly Valance to do Melbourne justice. She is a true Australian treasure and has the experience to back it up. She is the most baybin and qualified hoe to show us what our city has to offer following the years she spent in the gutter out the front of the 'Epsy' in St.Kilda. I almost went bankrupt paying her for wristies. I just knew even then that the gurl had talents. Down boy got to keep it down boy. Okay?


Ps. Prof Sam Oak seriously fuck you and clean up my fucking vomitt like a good wifie.

K-Poop?

So as a new era begins in our lives, welcome to the already too obese blog-o-sphere a new blog! Its called K-Pat and its the prefered child of X+H writer Whitney Port (K-rice). K-rice has decided to explore her love for enimalz and blogs by stalking your unguarded pets and touching them inappropriately before using these sick pornographic images to entertain the masses. What. A. Babe!

But does this mean the end for X+H?! Hells no. Were still kicking even know its mainly me doing all the posting. But this cool. Good ol' K-face got enough junk to fill 2 useless blogs.

So now for my indepth analysis on the K-Pat logo. It starts with the Katy Perry font, downloaded from the interwebs, lightly coated in hair. And actually that's about it. But its pretty hot. Give her a comment about it or something. I hear she likes lemon and sugar crepes. Take her one in and she might even say thanks! he he he.

Ah thats enough, I'm clearly bitter about this whole thing. I miss you K-babe. :(