Reel Review: Clam Slam

'Don't miss out on life. Always do the thing that scares you most.'


Nice tag line Clam Slam. But what scares me the most is the possibility of seeing this movie again. For Vanessa it must be getting nude that scares her the most...and she has well and truely gotten over that.

Never in my life have I seen a tween/teen film that tackles so many themes. I'm still not completely sure how I feel about it. I might even be under qualified to discuss 'Clam Slam'.




The various themes tackled are:

Substance use-We hear that a man(aka DUI's dad) would drink on his lunch hour and that he is in jail for killing a young boy when he was driving under the influence.

Profanity-A teen boy says, 'He likes the girls that got the junk'.

Sexual themes-Ex-Cheerleader turned band slut climbs in the bedroom window of DUI's, and tickles him on his bed; his mother(aka Phoebe from friends) enters the room and looses her shit so it's time for her to leave.

Animal cruelty-DUI pats V-Hudge like a dog.

Fetish-A young boy in day-care eats paste several times.

Incest-Pheobe aka Mum walks into the bathroom where DUI is taking a shower to ask about his day and god forbid we see his bare shoulder. Ugliest leading man ever.

Pulling the dead parent card-Ex-Cheerleader turned band slut blantly uses the dead daddy card to win a 'who can guilt the other more fight' with DUI.

Name-calling- These are the various names people are called: Dui, maniacs, morons, monsters, weirdo, idiots.

References to decent bands- Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Belle and Sebastian, Patti Smith, David Bowie, Velvet Underground etc.



Now specifically focusing on V-Hudge's performance. Clam Slam really sees her breaking out from her past role as Gabriella in High School Musical. Clam Slam is about high school students, music and faux acting. Oh shit...I just realised they are exactely the same. The big difference is that V-Hudge plays an emo type character. She even goes as far as creating a verbally-monotone, book-loving misfit persona for this role. I'm considering changing my name to Whit358ney(but the numbers aren't silent). Check it.




I'm excited to see what they will do in the sequel, or prequel depending on how far they can stretch Vanessa's Clam.





As Margaret I give Clam Slam, 3 out of 5 Clam's.

Reel Review: Vanessa Hudgens and her Chamber of Secrets

David's (Professor Samuel Oak) Review:

Bandslam opens with potential. We meet angsty broody teen Will Burton and are transported to his pathetic world of awkwardness, shit name dropping musical conversation, and hot mum Lisa Kudrow. But this potential is quickly ruined by V-hudge. Playing it coy, she introduces herself to Will by writing her name on a piece of paper like this "Sa5m" to then proclaim "the 5 is silent". But the film goes to places where previous tween-flick idols such as Frankie Muniz and Amanda Bynes have never been before. Driving Under the Influence, sociopathic methods of getting what you want, and David Bowie all feature heavily in this film, along with an surprisingly shit soundtrack. I was expecting more of a HSM vibe with dancing and pop-rock tunes that stick into your skull like chewing gum to pavement, but no! It was like shit soft-ska elevator music that had no spice. So I'm gicing this film 2 and a half DUI's, as I much preferred the 1950's original starring me and Audrey Hepburn.