Exhibit A: Solange Knowles
Style: The 'Buzz cock'.
Dykies: 5.6
The recession has caused Beyonce’s little sister, Solange Knowles, to resort to extreme cost-cutting measures. Her reasoning for the snip is that she can use the money she saves on hair maintenence on more important areas of her life. Like her baaaabyyy!!! For further details refer to post below. Hopefully she changes her name to Blazin' Bad Zula to really celebrate her African culture.
Exhibit B: Britney Spears
Style: The 'Put a spear in me, i'm done'.
Dykies: 15
OMG....make over!!!! There's nothing like a break down to inspire an image change. Or she may have just realised that she ACTUALLY married K-Fed and wanted to make herself completely undesirable to rid her life of precision facial hair. Brit looks almost retarded without hair, yet someone must have rated it highly because above is a tattoo some moron had tattooed on their bicep to honor the monumental celeBRITy event. I'm planning on having the moment when Paris Hilton flashed her vagina exiting a limo on my face. Huge!!!!!
Exhibit C: Hilary Duff
Style: The 'Big muff'.
Dykies: 21 (and maybe another 21 for the next 21 years that she'll spend searching for a decent film role. Get your cans out that always means Oscar! )
Your a haircut repeater Lizzie McGuire! You should shave your head for real but I guess dating the lead singer from Good(hardly) Charlotte is punk enough. Haha it's fantastic that I can simply type 'Hilary Duff Shaved Head' into Google and find an image of the H-Duff with no hair. Profit, I didn't even need to enlist the genius of photoshop myself.
Exhibit D: Sinéad O'Connor
Style: Les Normps
Dykies: 53
The orignial head shaver Sinead O'Connor has been rocking the 'Les Normps' shorn hairdo since before I was born. I probs had more hair than her upon my arrival, she was probably on a steady number 1 trim. Sinead really should be winning this 'In Too Deep' but i'm not convinced of her sexual status, I'm as confused as a drunk girl that accidently(or not so accidently) makes out with her best girl friend at Prom. O'Connor has been married twice and popped out 4 children! Then in 2000 she outed herself stating "I'm a dyke ... although I haven't been very open about that and throughout most of my life I've gone out with blokes because I haven't necessarily been terribly comfortable about being a big lesbian mule. But I actually am a dyke." Later she told a magazine that she may have been over-compensating to declare herself as a lesbian and that she was not to be put 'in a box of any description'(Well that's not what the girl you were licking out last night said). She now describes herself like this, "I'm three-quarters heterosexual, a quarter gay. I lean a bit more towards the hairy blokes". So your a submarine lesbian? Bitch please, your making Katy Perry seem as though she respects gay representation and rights. If you kissed a girl and liked it, just admit it baldie. I won't be o'CONned!!!
Exhibit Middle E: Natalie Portman
Style: The 'Middle Eastern Dome'.
Dykies: 126 (for the amount of girl boners she has inflicted upon me. Babe.)
Nothing says dyke like vegan footwear. And our favourite Israeli American actress knows how a bald head should look and the benefits of animal friendly footwear. Nat founded a fantastic website http://makingof.com/, has a bachelor's degree in psychology from Harvard because she'd "...rather be smart than a movie star" Oh melt!!!
She even has a band named after her shaved head. Easy win.
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